Tag Archives: giving up

When hope has expired

What to do you do when you feel that hope has run it’s course. Did I miss my chance. Is it really gone, am I too late? Right now I feel that hope has died and there is nothing left inside. How do you find the will to keep on this long forgotten road when hope does not shed it’s needed light. I’m breathing, praying… nothing seems to help at the moment. Will this moment fade or will it progress into something I can not handle with out that hope?

I feel like tapping out… doing something reckless…
Buying my favorite Moscato and toasting to the darkness
… the darkness that won’t leave my mind at peace.
… the darkness that is too acquainted with my dying soul.

Oh, Lord I have cried out from the very depths of my soul
Can you not hear me? Why Oh, Lord is this so hard.
Can’t I go back to that place I use to be
the place where I could laugh with him
the place where darkness could not find me
Why would you protect my mind than and not now?

Oh, Lord Please come rescue me from the hopelessness of this battle.
I am surrounded by these memories of evil
his evil voice rings in my heart
She wants to speak out loud, stand up to that monster.
he, the monster, has gripped her voice and placed a lingering curse on speaking out.

Free her, release her from with in.
I don’t want to own those awful moments anymore.
Take what should have never been given
or give back what should have never been taken.

One more sip
One more numbing swallow
Mother, I now see how easy it was for you to hide your secrets the way you did.