My Story

Well I have a story… (who doesn’t)   Right now (02.09.12)  I am at the point where I go through waves of courage and disappointment (again who doesn’t). My story is still unfolding in ways that are extremely unexplainable right now.  Someday perhaps there will be a day where I can title most of my untitled moments and write a book.  … reason why? (at this very moment I say that WILL NEVER happen… but there are days when I believe ‘my story’ has a purpose other than fear and shame) I want the victims that have experienced what I have to know that they are NOT alone and it is possible to overcome.  There are days I often wonder if that is true (to overcome) yet somewhere deep down, I know that I can overcome.

As you read I – V of my ‘story’ I am going to remind you that my faith is being tested… and I seem to be very tempted to be give up this ‘healing process’ BUT… I am fighting with the help of HIS love, grace and mercy… and hope… for sure holding on to hope – by a thread at times, but none-the less, still holding on. I do believe in HOPE… it’s truly a struggle at the present moment… life is a journey – and I don’t have to tell you that for you to know this to be true.

Trust and grief can coincide.
It is still awful.
Trust does not make the pain go away.
TRUST infuses the pain with HOPE.
HOPE sees BEYOND the pain.
Seeing only the pain infuses suffering with despair.

So for those who want to know… here you go… Why He’s real to me. How I believe in a loving God that ‘seemed’ to never really love me at all? (Part I – V)