'The Face' - the I'm not going to do it face... the whatever you say face :)
Oh brother! Do you know how many therapists have tried to make me practice this ridicules thing called ‘mindfulness’ (I say that word out loud very sarcastically… with a face) “Sigh”, so here I am still fighting my way out of depression and putting voice to all the untitled moments. As many or you know… it’s not been easy!
Well I joined this six month… oh yes, I said it… and you read it right; six month group that meets once a week to learn, (now using a very serious deep voice)Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) “dun dun dun dun…” :) Don’t ask me what means because I still don’t know :) I just know that I am supposed to learn how not to let my emotions interfere with my present life or something like that :) One of the main skills we are taught is how to practice the art of being mindful (still talking out loud as I type very sarcastically) Maybe I should record myself talking and amuse you all with my wonderful sarcasm or I will just highlight in, hummm…. purple when I’m using a sarcastic tone. (now you’ll know) :)
Here it comes… time to swallow crow! I have come to learn for the first time in years that my stubbornness does not always win; and a few times I am faced with the reality that I am wrong :) The third experience of me doing this (because I had to… it was homework) It kinda worked. I think it worked because I actually tried. Funny how that works. (I’m cracking myself up here. I tend to talk to myself out loud lately… it’s been lonely)
Okay so I thought I would share my homework with you all. It is this Mindfulmoment that sparked a blog post I read over a year ago which you can read hereand then I wrote a pretty good post about what reading this post and this mindful experience brought a huge moment of getting it. You can click here to read my amazing moment:)
I often work with people who are trying to find the courage to know what they know. Imagine standing in front of a wall that you are about to paint. You look at it and decide that red would be a perfect color for the wall, and you’re right. It would be.
You have a paintbrush in your hand. Next to you is a step ladder with an open bucket of paint on top. You reach up and dip your paintbrush into the bucket.
But, something’s wrong!
Your paintbrush comes out yellow. That bucket is full of yellow paint! Yellow is definitely not the right color for this wall.
You decide to try again. After carefully washing off your brush, you again take your place in front of the wall. You reach up and dip your brush into the paint can. It’s yellow. That’s not right. Everyone you know agrees that this wall should be painted red. You decide you need a break. You set down your brush and walk away upset. You decide to give it 24 hours.
The next day you have calmed down. You are feeling a little more positive now. You go to the wall, pick up your brush, which has caked-on dried paint from the day before and you spend the next 30 minutes carefully cleaning the brush. Then, you carefully and happily dip it in the bucket, only to be shocked again that it came out yellow.
You throw down the brush, frustrated. You spend 15 minutes looking at the wall carefully making sure that red would be the best color, not yellow. Yup, it should be red. You pick up your brush, wash it off and dip it in the paint bucket…
I’ll leave the rest of the story for you to finish.
There are some things in life that are definitely not the way they should be. You know how they should be, but every time you try to make changes, it doesn’t work. You get mad, frustrated, hard to be around, depressed… Continue reading →
If guilt was penniless my anger would have bitten into your flesh. My fingers would leave this haze of blistered purple and vicious blue around your neck. She had no choice. Your satisfaction took advantage of her ignorant innocence and the brokenness of a severely depresses girl. The moment your heartless actions faltered… you crept into her dreams with your mystical bliss. You hid that little girl and she shut her green sad eyes that were finally telling what they witnessed … but your heartlessness locked her back in shame! You disgust me. This isn’t poetic. This isn’t brokenly beautiful…it’s a crime. A crime I never knew and was oblivious to. A crime that seeped into her blood and turned it to ice. Did you know she almost killed herself? Did you know that? Did you know that because of you she felt this was all she knew how to be. Did you know that she thought she wasn’t worth the fight anymore.
And then there is more??? Ugh! It makes me sick to know that I begged and stood so close to such evil! “Once I was young and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the Godly abandoned or their children begging for bread” Psalms 37:25 ~You left a child of God begging for help and then abandoned. Ouch… Not a very pleasant act to face our Maker. “For the Lord loves justice, and He will never abandon the Godly. He will keep them safe forever. But the Children of the wicked will die” Psalms 37:28 ~I heard that last line many times as a child… “the children of the wicked will die” I believed it all my life and still struggle not to puke as I read it now…. What evil it is to take GOD’s Holy Word and use it to shame a child. And you… you have made her again, hold head down and cry many many abandoned sleepless nights and caused me to re-live all those lies over and over.
I just can’t cry anymore. I had an hour break on the way home… and slept 3 hours… to only wake up and Cry some more and more and more! What happened to the girl who just wrote a few days ago that she was going to fight and not give up????? I just am loosing so much and something that I thought I would never never ever loose. I hate promises! I hate love! LOVE DOES NOT WIN! LOVE TAKES AND TAKES AND HURTS! LOVE NEVER FAILS? All I once thought true… all I once held dear… It’s not true…. LOVE???? I thought that was it… the greatest commandment… BUT WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD???? You know whats crazy???? That I thought that I was a girl who loved too much…. but I don’t know what love is anymore… UGH! I think I can only give love if I don’t have to be attached… a quick act of kindness in passing because I care… but once I am attached either A) It is taken away or B) It’s not what I thought it was and feel beyond stupid for thinking I could belong like that. Why :’( Continue reading →
I have sat here with my eyes closed, breathing in and releasing this anxiousness. I have prayed. I’ve been still. …and yet the tears fall and I morn and hurt… very very bad. I hear the negative voice within telling me stop writing… stop explaining the hurt; no one is really listening. Then I hear the voice reminding me that so many of my readers do listen and are so kind with their genuine kindness and words that make me feel that I have a purpose and that somewhere a strength lies within… a courage to carry on.
I have sat here watching this cursor blink blink blink. Wanting to just say it. Just say it. …But I feel like I have been saying it… for a year I have said it. All the pain… all the memories… the hate… the faith.. .the hope… the love… the confusion.. the strength… the moments that death was near and life was given. I’ve shared my heart through song and pictures.., through poetry and art. You… you here, that all read this blog… I have opened my heart and let the ugly out. I have shared with you my passions, my strengths and my weaknesses. And yet… through all that I have more to say. More that is still stuck; so stuck… it makes me feel like I’m going to get sick… i could just puke it all up… cry a river of all the pain that still lingers and scream out how much i just want to belong and how much I have lost in the past four months and how this loss that I’m loosing right now… sigh… this one seems to hurt the most. I can feel it… it’s coming and I’m trying to prepare myself… I’m in half denial. I’m in half realization that it is just no longer going to be. Continue reading →
No poems tonight; just a passionate girl writing about what was stolen, what is wrong, what has been taken and also what is right, what has been given and what will be replaced! I never seek for people to think … Continue reading →
Curled up in a ball
Wondering about it all
How long do I call
And here nothing at all
Tears… oh so many tears
Does anyone care how much I fear
all these years
all the one way mirrors
Do I dismiss the ache inside my soul
And blame it on this curse of women
Thank you eve for the toll of emotions
I don’t even care if this rhymes any more.
I just want to paint a picture of this pain
But really all who reads this blog
is pretty aware of this sickening pain
She cries alone
If you saw me now…
My bloodshot green eyes
now brightened
When the tears fall
their color glows
in the pain and sorrow of the
overwhelming reminders
that alone seems to be my place
in this fallen world
Mascaraed tear trails down my pale face
My hair tied back in a messy bun
And I lie here curled up in a ball
trying to stop thinking how this won’t last forever Continue reading →
What does one do when she is bored out of her mind and sick of watching TV and has no motivation to clean. Being alone is awful.
Is it wrong of me to want human connection??? I don’t want to type or text. I just want my life back. I don’t want to PMS and feel what I feel and have it intensified. I miss my kids this weekend and wishing I could be at a swim meet watching my step daughter at State.
My depression is getting better but isolation feeds it… Isolation and PMS and boardom not good for one who is depresses.
Headache please get better!
If you are reading this from Dverse… I linked the wrong post this is not it:) but you are more then welcome to read it:) here is the right link http://untitledmoments.com/2012/01/31/untitled-i-cant-title-a-moment-if-i-really-dont-know-what-it-is-it-just-is-untitled/
Ugh....
PMS is Depressions worst enemy. I suppose for guys too it would be hard to be depressed and have to deal with a hormonal cranky nagging women once a month :)
But girls… you know that beyond the bloating and frequent stops to the bathroom that are just a wast of time… and once a month you can’t ware white. (well i did that once in rebellion of the curse of periods… and regretful inform you it didn’t go well for me… all that and I was singing at a small coffee shop when the gravity decided to play a funny trick on me as I had my favorite cute white pants on :-/ ) anyway… off that bunny trail (ADD moment) All the bloating and inconvenience of being a girl, can be tiresome, but with all that boldly stated… there is nothing worse than being the girl who suffers from major PMS and being engulfed in depression. Talk about the worst 5 days… emotional, dramatic and out of control.
I didn’t even watch the Super Bowl on Sunday because I was convinced my world as I knew it was coming to an end. Drama, drama, drama :) . …and I love football almost as much as I love my kids;)
I am not going to minimize the pain that I am feeling Depression is very real to me and the emotions I feel are real. Yesterday morning when I awoke after crying my self to sleep and saying many things I did not mean and MAJORLY regret, I was greeted with the curse of our visiting monthly nightmare :) I was not… I repeat NOT smiling then! I out loud told God I was mad at Him. I emotionally stated that this was not funny… this is not a joking mater… My emotions where real! ugh!!! :) oh yes… I then cried for the next 5 hours. So lets just say that the already emotional feelings i had were intensified by 10 from the greatness of PMS.
As I write to you today it’s 11am and I am showered and smiling and ready to face this ugly war and yell at all the lies that the evilness tells me to believe. I am going to do something today and enjoy it! I am going to smile… and laugh… and may cry; yet when the (what I believe are awful…) tears come… I wont think the world is ending.
I have much to face in the next many many months. Many decisions need to be made. I am going to make sure I don’t let my emotions get int he way of my judgement as I make them. I have to realize that depression is a disease and it’s a process to learn how to understand it all.
I am not saying that my posts are going to be full of sunshine. BUT! THEY will be filled with a little more hope… yes and pain… but realizing that beauty comes from pain. (but honest I will be… )
I am off to fight the day… not tomorrow but today.
I miss you!
Today I miss you so much!
Today I wish I could drive to your house in my sweatpants and over sized sweatshirt and come see you!
Your house is empty…
I am sorry I don’t want you to feel bad!
I don’t want you to even know…
But I miss you so bad!
I need you to bug me to go to the gym
to push through the awful winter that is about to come
or go on and on about your newest read about what foods i should not eat…
what natural way would be the best…
I need you dear friend to be here for me today.
I am mad at God that He took you so far away from me
I am mad that He brought something so dear to me in my life to only take it away from form me…
How is it that God brought you in my life anyway?
How is it that two completely opposite people became such good friends…
how is it that you stuck by my side through all my crazy of life…
today I miss my dear friend…
and I am sure I will miss you for many days to come…
the phone is just not the same…
Image via Wikipedia It’s possible that being alone is not just our greatest fear but our only fear. It could be the active ingredient in our fear of death. It could be the element we empathically resonate with when we fear something happening to our children. Even our fear of rejection seems not so much about the rejection as it is about the imagined result of the rejection – being alone. Our fear of harm, pain, suffering, damage… these may all … Read More
Well today this write is going to be an free write…. Not caring if I spell right, sound right, use a period or even just scream. I’m feeling very alone, down,anxious…. I learned a lot today, yet my mind is go go go go and I do nothing with it…..
I think i need a good cry… A good vent… A good ADD session :) SIGH!
I understand that what I am going through or what I went through is NOT me but it’s a part of me!!!! I want so bad to “JUST” be better…. But the pain inside hurts too much at the moment, and just like the good ‘ol U2 says… I’m stuck in the moment and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.
I am so desperate to relax… To be still and know that God is God…. Sigh…. I’m working on it….
For my prayer warrior’s…. Today is a day I need your intersession…
I made it:). I’m quite anxious at the moment…. But good news is my aunt surprised me and was at the hotel when I got here…. It was so good to see her!
I’m wondering how i will sleep tonight. I miss my family already. I’m reminded of the glue of faith that keeps me together. Thank you, Jesus for the great christain guy who sat next to me on the plane and gave me this amazing devotional book. We talked so much about church and prayer and how much we love Jesus…. God is so real… It was not by chance that I sat next to christian…. God is real!
This may be thee most ADHD post you will ever read in your life. So if you dare read on I commend you and thank you for taking the time to read my heart as I release it from within to my finger tips as they quickly type my heart.
The countdown is on. “should I stay or should I go now… if I won’t there might be trouble…. ” (old song that just popped in my head)
I am scheduled to fly to Washington State Saturday morning… and I get that “I NEED TO GO” but I swear the battle that is going on within is making it very difficult to step out in faith right now.
….okay it’s time that layla preaches what she knows and just maybe I can convince myself this time in all of what I know is truth.
I am God’s beloved! He is never ever ever going to leave me, send me back, or relax his love for me! I get that… but see I keep putting God in this box; like He’s not big enough to take care of this. How dare I think that God is not big enough to do this. SIGH!
In the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan He talks about “Justified Stress“? I am going to quote a few paragraphs:
But there’s that perplexing command: ” Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Phil 4:4) “Do not be anxious about anything” (v.6)
That came as a pretty staggering realization. But what I realized next was even more staggering. When I am consumed by problems – stressed out about my life, my family, and my job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a “right to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.
Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.
Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we’ve been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won’t be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God’s strength, our problems are small, indeed.
Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are? I find myself relearning this lesson often. Even though I glimpse God’s holiness, I am still dumb enough to forget that life is all about God and not about me at all. Yet, God does call us his beloved and cares about our brokenness…. we must trust that he is big enough to take care of whatever situation we are facing! Get God out of the box!
Okay now back to Layla’s ADHD world… are you ready?
It’s like this… and I am going to be very honest, real, blunt… I may even shock myself at what I may say…. sigh… here we go…
What i experienced at age 7 … all the confusion, all the pain and heartache of what my grandfather did to me was evil! That’s what it was. EVIL! (oh my… needing to puke) and you know what so what if i puke it out… I WANT IT OUT OF ME MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER EVER EVER KNOW!!!!! My physical body is experiencing WW3 and it’s a mess… and this little girl is very misunderstood and trapped! It’s hard to think of my kids going back to school and have this memory of the day before 6th grade… oh how do I put that into the light… how… how … how????
Okay… re -focus… and yes those of you know me… I just did what I did a few Sundays ago in front of you all on stage in front of 500 + people :) I just waved my hand out in a circle and out loud said “refocus, layla” Oh… that was embarrassing… especially when all of a sudden 3 hours later i said.. did i say that out loud… and my husband and a few friends said oh… yes… and it was great LOL moment… :) Whoa… bunny trail… shall i wave my hand in front of my face again;)
Okay where was I going with all this… so basically what I go out of those few paragraphs in Crazy love was this…. “Layla, BE STILL… remember my post about that… yeah… well I am not being still…. i am fighting God, who is thee creator of all and thinking he is not big enough to get me on a plane and expose the truth… which means taking it out of the darkness and putting it into the light and that is going to be the second hardest thing to actually the moments of being in it… so puke I might… cry… it must be done… remember the book the Velveteen rabbit.. how the bunny with his tear made the earth beneath him real…. that’s just it… that’s what needs be done… to make it real…
no one ever said real was beautiful… BUT I AM PRETTY SURE GOD TAKES ASHES AND TURNS THEM INTO BEAUTY. So if I am to truly have faith… I need to stop fighting my almighty God and surrender my anxious heart and FEAR…. I need to stop thinking MY GOD IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH! How dare I think that he is not bigger than my memories…. it’s hard… it’s inconceivable …. but my God is invincible and his love is relentless and I AM HIS BELOVED!
It was in one of Dr. Hamilton’s blogs that talked about “Believe. Behave. Be moved and I am sure he meant something other than what I got out of it, but this is what I got….
I am grateful for all who have put into action the love of Christ in helping me move beyond this once tragedy…. You behaved in His love and you are moved by His love… thus you teach me how to believe in His truth about myself and how to behave in HIS love and how to go forth in be moved by His love.
This has been my new motivation as I press on in the darkness. I must filter through what I believe and if it’s true. (Yes, I was hurt as a child, but I don’t want to believe in the lies that he tried to instill… well I’m working on that!!!!). With help from a very important person who does not give up on my stubbornness! I am learning to believe in what our Heavenly Father says. If I believe in the lies that “he” tried to instill in me as a child; then I will behave on those lies as an adult… and if I behave on those lies I will be moved by them. I DO NOT want to be moved by anything that has to do with those lies…. I want to believe in the love of our Maker and behave in that love and be moved by HIS love. It’s in these moments of “getting it” that I try to cling on to.
Believe in the Fathers love, Behave in the Fathers love, and BE moved in the Fathers love.
God has proven to me already that I can beat all odds… what makes me think I should stop now… (no one ever said it would not hurt, because it does more than one could ever know)!!!
Who knows… maybe someday I will be able to share with the world how God moved me.
~It’s a crazy love I tell ya!
~L’s Crazy love play list… I tell you you have to listen to these great songs!!!!
I love this chick…
“Your love never fails!!!!! Your love never never changes… their may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning light…. and when the oceans rage. I don’t have to be afraid because I know YOU ALWAYS LOVE ME :) You make ALL things work together for my good… “ Love this song!!!!!
…and he loves even me! The words to this song are so beautiful!
Nothing is greater than his love that holds our life together! Let this fire consume my life! Let Your love take me deeper and draw me closer to where you are!!!! I am forever humbled by the message of the cross! I will never be the same, Oh God! Your love is like fire, let it burn for all to see!
“Unbreakable” by Fireflight
Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight Can’t face me in the light They’ll return butI’ll be stronger
God, I want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it’s unmistakable No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better
Forget the fear it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust
Listen to this ‘rock’n song :) … but don’t say I didn’t warn ya…. it rocks:)
Lord, YOU SAID! Please come through for me tonight!
When everything falls apart by: ~Fee
You said
you’d never leave or forsake me
when you said,
this life is gonna shake me
you said
this world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
this I know
Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you’re the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on
when I see
darkness all around me
when I see
that tragedy has found me
I still believe
your faithful arms will never let me go
and still I know
Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you’re the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on
Bridge: Sorrow will last for the night
but hope is rising with the sun
(it’s rising with the sun)
there will be storms in this life
but I know you will overcome
but I know you will overcome
Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
your the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you’re the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on
Why do you keep holding on to me? I don’t understand at the moment! I don’t want any more moments to understand. My soul is tired and my mind is on overload…. and that’s all I want is for the world to stop reminding me how awful it was to have my innocence stolen and my mind tortured so….
I am not a fighter tonight. I have nothing left to give…
I recently read an article on Yahoo news about President Obama and how he is handling this Muslim temple near Ground Zero, as well as reading many comments from my fellow Americans voicing their freedom of speech. Well, this is me voicing mine.
(If you have not read any articles regarding this topic or others comments read this link below.)
Our country was founded on GOD. “In God we trust”, right? The God that gives us freedom to choose to serve him or not, is same God that our founding fathers believed in. They decided if God did not force us to serve him, then why would they force religion on us. Yet they also decided as an American government to be ONE Nation UNDER GOD! You could choose your path, but they were going to choose the path that they knew in their hearts was best for the people. That was America from day one. People came to America knowing that. If you did not want to believe in God, you didn’t have to… but please respect our Nation and what it was founded on… if you don’t like it, move! Okay, well maybe that is a little harsh? If you don’t like it you don’t have to; that’s your blessed, God given, American provided right. We are not forcing anyone to be a certain religion… some of us choose to share a love that we would desire you to know but never force anyone to be a Christian. When a Nation was founded on God we decided, that that is who we are. Our God, the God that blessed our nation, never forced us to love Him, He never brainwashed us to live a certain way… He gave us the choice to receive His love. That is where our founding fathers formulated the idea of “freedom of choice, freedom of religion”. No one was going to force “we the people” to bow down to the God that they decided to build our Nation upon, rather they believed it was the right way of thinking to let us decide; As, so did Christ.
My heart cries out only in love not condemnation, would you not want to know this God who loves you so much that He gives you a choice; he demonstrated that choice by choosing death, so that we may have life eternally by his resurrecting power. Would you not love a country that gives you a choice… would you not respect our Founding Fathers that loved their GOD and COUNTRY so much they gave us that freedom. I personally believe we as Christians are called to voice that and share the love of God to ALL mankind.
This is a sad day to me when I read how the leader of our country, which was founded under GOD, seems to be very heartless. The world is broken… let us love with a hope and faith from the one who blessed this country in the first place! ONE NATION UNDER GOD! IN GOD WE TRUST! LET FREEDOM RING! Let us love all mankind, no mater what they believe. We are to love not hate. It’s sad to know that so many people have to be reminded of the pain on 9-11, it saddens me more to know that our president can’t stand up for the brokenhearted, but would rather make all fair?
Build your temple… just build it somewhere else. Have respect; can you not have love for those who lost their loved ones? This will be a constant reminder of what America lost that day. We are not hating you, nor condemning you. We are just asking that you love the brokenhearted people and extend support, sympathy, and love to those who lost a piece of them that day.
It is my prayer today that you will understand that you have a choice to receive HIS love, understand why our founding fathers chose this God to stand our country on. Find out yourself. Look for the truth. Truly dig deep in the history of why. And remember it’s always been your choice. And every choice has a consequence. My question to you is, can you live with the choice you make? Can I live with myself not shouting His Name from the mountain tops? If you are my Christian friend, will you rise up with me and pray for the brokenhearted, the weary, the lost… let us pray for unity in the land of the free. And If you don’t believe in Jesus, I just want you to know that someday I hope you find His amazing love. I don’t need you to judge me, and if you do it’s okay with me. We have the same right, to believe the way we want; yet I also have a responsibility to the God that I believe; and that’s to share his amazing love to all mankind; to ware His love on my sleeve.
Can I truly live my life knowing that our world is becoming filled with more broken people and not share the true freedom that lies within receiving Jesus as Lord, a reigning king over all the earth. It’s a crazy kinda love :) It’s a great love.
The Beatles state it well, “And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will bean answer, let it be. Jesus said it better, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 …And what is the world? What does the news tell us? What do we see daily; the world is broken… and he tells us to take heart! He has overcome the brokenness”
Can we be the home of the brave? Can we go back to our roots as Americans? What made the U.S.A. anyway? Obviously this will be debated to the ends of the earth but that’s just it… what then… what happens in the end? Will we have said just “let it be” …”let’s all be fair”? Will we look back and see it was easier to agree to disagree? In the end does it even matter?
From the very depths of my heart I am here to tell you that it really does matter. The world will someday end and like I stated before; Are you sure you can live with the consequences of how you now chose to life your life here on earth?
Our true freedom is in a world far greater than science could ever imagine. A world where unity is never tempted by the desires of what man wants but rather with a unity that is beautifully made by a loving God, who calls us His children. A world where war and death will never be. A world where freedom means what it should mean now. Free from condemnation, free from death, free from fear…. Free from abuse and broken homes. Free from depression and oppression. There will be no hunger, no sorrow… no mass destruction or evil men that seek to destroy. We will be unified under an almighty ruler who also calls us His friend. It won’t matter what our selfish desires want anymore… we will be surrounded by the utter most beauty of heaven and all His glory. I wonder what that day will be like?
Someday the world will know what “the land of the free” really means… until that day let us fight for the brokenhearted, let us fight for our fading freedom that so much blood was shed for. Let us remember that freedom came with a cost. Let us not be greedy and think about all the unnecessary selfishness. Let us love. If we were loving in this situation then we would understand the hearts of the hurting and we would never have to have this conversation. Let us remember the love for our country, the love for it’s people, and the love for a penned promise long ago… “One Nation Under God”
~L
I hope you take a few minutes and enjoy these songs that I linked to this post:)
Titling all the untitled moments one post at a time
Thanks for visiting 'Untitled Moments' Where breaking the silence is a learned journey for me. Passion fills many of my posts and pain is spilled throughout ... as splashes of hope and my faith fight its way to the top, someday there they will stay in victory...humbly shinning with purpose and confidence.
Funny, the way they think it’s supposed to be - lead by chic flicks and Kardashian romance that makes me giggle because to me, this thing called love is more than the tossing… Read More →
it swells then crashes down on top of anyone and anything lying in it’s path and burns and turns to ash inside a hollow chest where blood boils and rushes and beats and… Read More →
I will be taking a break from my blogging probably until sometime in the fall. I want to be able to put my effort into writing of another sort. Thank you all for reading and commenting. So until that next post I wish you all the best. - dh
There is pretty good research about the benefits of journaling for emotional well-being after stress, crisis, or trauma. The catch is (well, there are a few) it should be done at least twice a week for at least three weeks AND the writing needs to focus on expressing the most intense and painful emotions AND [...]
Our instinct for self-preservation is strong and seemingly automatic. And yet… And yet… There are times when even a creature wired for self-preservation can contemplate suicide. I want to die. I wish I were dead. I’d be better off dead. Then what? I should tell you that if you are currently feeling like dying, you [...]
