~
She lived in the fairy tales
A world she had to learn to leave behind
Narnia now trails
And she’s much too old
to set a sail
To play make- believe
is now only naive
“Never – Never Land”
is never to be restored
Her enchantment lingers
no more
She’s gone back to reality forevermore
~
The time has come
to bury this castle
Time to sail away
Say goodbye to her hero
and bid farewell to the magic
Reality…. it’s tragic
Time to face the ugly truth?
To speak out loud the proof?
Healing is in voice?
Violence must be muttered
This child speaks and flutters
As she’s ripped from the only security ever known
So many goodbyes to the magical world that sheltered
Too far to reach … too far it seems
Never, never, and never again, shall it be
That this beautiful land will again
experience the innocence of laughter
where children never grew to know the pain of the World below
The World that carries a curse of oppression that takes childhood away.
Sometimes I wish I could
go back and fly to
“Never-Never Land”
Where the innocence
of children play.
Where the sun always shines
Time never ticks
and she never became sick. Where hearts sing amongst the wind and a brave hero with courage fought her evil pirates away
To dream again of an enchanted world Where love and hope swirl …and a
Fairy brings her magic with pixie dust
to keep beneath and bind their lust!
Oh , if I could make such a wish
for just one more flight
One more fly to “Never Land”
Where never hands
of old and evil aren’t stealing innocence.
No swords to harm and scar…
Only the safety in each shooting star…
in the protection of this world afar
I’ve lost that child-like faith
Sunrises seem to have washed away
Shooting stars have became more or less
like balls of fire crashing down
into her mess.
There’s nothing left…
her world now becoming less
It’s time for me to confess
“This world … was just a silly dream”
I’m tired of waiting for you to come back
I’m tired of looking foolish
You are on every page of my imagination.
Please don’t go! I’m frightened.
A glimmer of hope makes me still believe…
yet sure enough there is all that logic throwing reality in my face
He has invaded her safe place!
Why was he allowed to find me there?
I thought I could hide in Heaven’s lace
each memory now is traced
and safety is erased
My head now hangs in shame
And block by block I count them down
Who is left to blame?
My wall has fallen in his game
No more fairy tales
It was all a trick
She’s now curled up in a ball
Fighting the release of it all
No one to fight for her
Protection now torn
trust no more
Trapped here in their lust
I was almost there
Her voice spoke very few
Tears carried scars so true.
Perhaps they were her own magic
Her own courage
Underneath a protection
She spoke the tragic
I was almost there
Someone’s stolen her pixie dust and took away his sword
You killed his ghost
and left me at most
on the dirty floor as you boast
“No more magic
forever tragic
no counting blocks
for the love you had is mocked”
Wishing… pleading again… begging reality…. I can’t accept…. I don’t know how
Bring back to me my courageous friend
Bring back the rivers filled with love that never ends
Where lights beamed from sky
and hope shined through the rising tide
It’s time to bury the castle
To put to rest the imaginative little girl.
Time to say goodbyes
No more magic
It’s time for logic
It seems too tragic
To bid Farewell
And think all is well
~L
Every time I hear this song I think of how I had to leave… It’s been my favorite song for years!
My childhood was a nightmare! My fairy tale is now! I wish you the very best on your journey to finding your fairy tale!
Hugs, V
My nightmare is now as I recall the past and fearful of promises that could destroy me as I speak out…. My fairy tale kept my mind safe as a child… And someday heaven will come and I won’t need to dream of such places anymore:)
This is one of the most moving poems I have ever read, L.. you led me into a fairytale, and then you told me of reality’s harshnesses… you showed me what abuse felt like.. you made it look so real..
This was quite a jarring journey, my dear.. a journey which you’ve so beautifully written out..
Kudos…
Peace and hugs to you!!!
Coming from the most talented writer I know that makes me believe in myself a little more. I write what is in the depths of my soul as it pens (types) the feelings.
Thanks!
I believe some of the best writing comes from real pain, and You’ve obviously let yours flow freely from the depths of you to the page. I also believe the loosing of pain can help to heal the soul. An excellent write, L. Very well done.
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/12/31/one-day-at-a-time/
As a child who was abused in many different foster homes both state run and private, family homes, I was abused in many ways. The childhood innocence is stolen and replaced with shame, secrecy and fear. I can identify with this so well, and yet, at 17 I made a conscious choice, I could let that childhood make me and grow to hate the world and all its wrongs, or, I could let it shape me into who I was determined to become.
The only way (I think) through my own experience is to try and see everything from all aspects and not just from your own point of view. It may seem difficult but, I tried to understand the minds of my abusers, why they did what they did, what may have happened to them to make them want to do those things etc etc. If you can understand that they too must have undergone such type of abuse to have perpetrated it, then, you can maybe learn somehow to forgive them because, they didn’t really know any other way to behave. That is not to say that you forgive them their sin against you, it is for yourself to know, that to understand why and then to try to forgive them for what they did, is the first step on the way to your own healing. It took me many, many years of deep introspection to fathom that the only way forward is to let it go. It happened but, although the past shapes you, it doesn’t have to make or break you. We can remain as victims or, we can give our inner child a voice, let her see the light, and, let her grow too.
Hope that helps you in some small way.
Your prose is painful, and yet, offers freedom in its release of sharing,
Thank you for your comment and taking the time to share your words with me. Your comment reminded me of a post I wrote last year and I ended it with this video. i clipped together.. This is the first time I thought of it from an abusers stand point.
Beautifully shared my friend. I hope you find that childhood fantasies don’t have to go away, though they may have been banished for a time. My life is filled with fantasy, most of them childish ;-), and I think I’m a better Pirate because of it. Thank for all the words you share with us!
Thank you so much for your many kind words this month! :)
this was me, but i guess you figured that out…smiles…nice to see you at OLN
it is sad that far too many have to give up those fairy tales so early in life…there is magic in them…and when we lose that magic we lose so much…thank you for the warm thoughts in the comment today…i hope that you have a fantastic new year…
You are more than welcome …. Thanks for continuing to read my heart …
“It’s time to bury the castle.” Aaw, that makes me sad, but I understand.
Wonderful poem.
I’m sure this was a very difficult poem to write, to work through, but it’s good I think to open the doors and let in the light, let out the dark feelings, May your new year be the beginning of something better than a fairy tale.
You know the funny thing about this poem is I wrote the idea of it when I was a sophomore in high school. I have revised this poem for over 12 years. I am sure only a few lines from 12 years ago made the final cut and perhaps this year will be complete. Thank you for your kind words.
~L
whoosh – what a powerful piece! touches of poignance – sorrow – the notion of the fairytale so well captured in this piece – so sad to finally put that magic away and succumb to the logics and strings of reality which take their toll – great musings here, enjoyed reading this from dVerse!! OT
My, my… you made me feel proud of myself… I am humbled though and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me!
~L
a rich and sad story well told.
:)
thank goodness for fairy tales, dreams and imagination, for they are what allows us to escape the harsh and bitter winds of this world when we could not run away from them otherwise. I am so moved by this piece. From anger to hope and every emotion in between, you have managed to speak to me with your powerful voice of strength and I believe now that this is your purpose. To speak. To be bold and loud for those who cannot. You could be such a mighty force, you ARE a mighty force. you could sure mix up something most wonderfully amazing by blending the past with your talent!
Nie work! Continue penning with your honesty and heart!!!! Much love and hugs to you my friend.
Kellie ♥
Your words are so encouraging and kind. I really needed to feel good about myself today. I know that God gave me a gift to write and sometimes it’s a jumbled mess but it’s my heart and passion… It feels good to be able to use a talent even if it’s sad and confusing.
Thanks girlie!
~L
you rock.
happy new year.
Thanks for the love to poets rally, keep it up.
smiles.
Thanks, Natalie:)
Your sad and confusing words always gives me hope and peace. I wish you hope and peace in knowing you help many and will help many more with your talent and strength. God will reward you and I only hope it is sooner then later.
My heart comes alive for you when most of the time I’m not sure I have one anymore. Thanks :)
Thanks Richard! They are confusing words… and I am glad you see that within the sadness their is a flicker of hope. Your belief in me that I will help others gives my hope a bit more flame today. You will have more… feed the faith and starve the doubt… remember…. keep going my friend… keep going.
sometimes not easy to face reality…even more when the world outside is dark… i was living in those fairy tale worlds as well when i was a child – and know it’s not easy to leave.. fine write..
Thanks, Claudia! It is not easy to leave, yes you are right. Thank you for your comments this past month and for stopping back to read each week!
~L
This poem made me cry….so much said in them and yet sometimes you can’t do anything but believe…believe that someday life would bring a happy fairytale :)
Past is filled with sad and painful memories for lost of us but then hoping for a beautiful present and making it such with our spirit is what keeps us going…
Take care dear :)
Yes… (tears) to believe in someday is my hope. Your words are encouraging and kind. They mean a lot and to hear so many wonderful comments really gives me a sense of support and compassion.
Truly, I thank you from all that is within,
~L
There is a distance from childhood – where so many imagined things seemed literally real — to adulthood, where the fallacy of belief in unreal things becomes evident: and yet, adulthood gives us the privilege to freely imagine without the need of any reality in them. We get to stay young at heart and free and safe in our dreaming happy place, no matter what happens outside. Dream deep, swim far … B
Your words really penetrated deep with in my soul. I actually said hmmmm, out loud at the end of reading this. Sometimes dreaming of happy places tends to go to far… yet I believe there is a balance to go to a safe place, a hiding place… a place of shelter.
Thank you for your words of wisdom.
~L
I could feel every sting. It’s so beautiful when those who are touched by unkind hands find their way to possessing hands of kindness.
your words are kind… and it’s so helpful to hear encouragement that beauty can come from ashes.
Thanks for stopping by!
~L
Growing up is hard enough. Out-growing the possibility of magic is tragic. Well written
hum… never thought of those words used like that… used all those words – just never thought of it quite like that.
Thanks for sharing your words!
~L
Thanks, J… I agree… most days
~L
I can totally relate to what you feel and say. If you have the time to read, here is the proof of it: http://joseruypc.wordpress.com/2009/12/22/delightful-home-universe/
Thanks for sharing!
I like it. For me it spoke truth, and I wonder if I would be able to find magic again.
I wonder the same thing…
~L
I’ve always cherished my adventures in my other world, my childhood in the real world was not a particularly happy one. I admit I hardly go over there now. It gets harder as one gets older, In that other place, nothing ever gets us down. I cannot say enough about it, in short I miss being able to easily imagine as I did when I was a child. Easy to forget these days. Thanks for your poem, for the reminder and the awareness.
Sometimes relating with one takes the feeling of loneliness away. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
~L
It was very true to me at that time. It was tragic…