I prayed
blinked my eyes a few
my eyes grew heavy
the clock said 11:42
I fell a sleep with peace so true
with hope as my levy
I fell asleep with faith in view
I fell asleep with my hand resting on my face
I awoke in a terror disgrace
a great fear grew
I saw her face
my mind now in review
I was frozen in place
my voice withdrew
and then I remembered my embrace
my hand hadn’t moved from my face
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Posted in Poems by ~L
Tagged a little of this and that, Jingle Poetry, Love, poetry, Trust
Trust and grief can coincide.
It is still awful.
Trust does not make the pain go away.
TRUST infuses the pain with HOPE.
HOPE sees BEYOND the pain.
Seeing only the pain infuses suffering with despair.
(heard something like this a few months ago from a really good church service)
____________________________________
…………….. I AM ……………
… trusting AND grieving
… and yes! …it hurts!
… and yes I’m desperately clinging to hope
… and no it does not make the hurt go away
… but as I trust; I feel a rising hope
… and I somehow can see beyond the pain
Posted in Poems by ~L
Tagged depression, despair, God, grief, healing journey, hope, hopelessness, Love, Trust
The morning sun has come over the horizon
and I have faced my most obsessed demon’s once again
Here I stand at the very edge of this lustful shore.
my soul has been tossed into this raging sea
I faced the dark sea of deep and dirty monsters
and once again I faced it with all might
Reminding myself, “I shall not drown”
Reassuring my spirit… Victory is near
I watched as the waves swallowed me whole
As nature allowed devastation to uphold
Oh, my God
My friend
Almighty Ruler
of Land and Sea
Calm these storms
Heal my spirit from oppression
It’s dark and cold
My body fatigued
Hold me a float
Create a bed of rest for your wary chid
Feed my week body
mend my soul
With the rising dawn
Bless me with a steadfast courage to start over again
The morning sun has come and gone….
and here I stand again
faced with my most obsessed demon’s once again
Not forgetting when I sail to the far side of the Sea
You will be there
** This pertains to many different times in my life.. but mostly 6 months ago to present... and how some can't see past my "scarlet letter now" This is my testimonie of this situation in my life. This is not in anger or bitterness... this is my story... my story starting with a verse from Luke, Chapter 10
One occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
Yet he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
Here is my loose translation of this passage found In Luke 1o:25-37
A girl was going down a life’s journey when she was attacked by various abusers for many years. They stripped of her cloths and innocence; beat her and went away leaving her half dead. After yet another heartbreaking event she became weary and sick…. She went for help and was abandoned by a place that said they would take care of her; left on the side of the road helpless and alone.
The Church happened to be going down the same road and when they saw this girl , they passed by on the other side. They left her knowing she curled up broken on the ground and most were much too busy to help her. Much to concerned about her wrongs rather then her her broken-es…
So too, many friends, when they came to the place and saw her, passed by on the other side. Giving a few kind words but not offering to her the support and help she needed… just words as she lied there half dead. But a Stranger, not one of her own, had traveled by, came where the girl was; and when they saw her, they took pity on her. They went to her and bandaged her wounds, feed her, prayed with her; loved her with the love of God. They gave her a place to stay and took care of her despite the sacrifice that could and would come because they chose to be obedient to the greatest commandment; LOVE.
Posted in Healing one day at a time
Tagged Christianity, depression, Evil, God, good Samaritan, hopelessness, PTSD, Religion and Spirituality, suicide
This song has always been a favorite. It spoke to me as it started raining this past July… I just had to go out and “be washed in Heaven’s rain” (emotional) …”to stand in Summer’s rain. I will never forget this moment. It was a healing moment for my soul. I was blessed enough that it was all captured behind a camera! This video is what I like to call ‘Video Poetry’. Words could not describe what that moment was… so here is my moment for you in the form of ‘Video Poetry’.
Most Pictures were taken by my Step-daughter and some myself. Hope you enjoyed ;)
(lyrics posted underneath)
This song means a few different things on a few different levels. To me this is a prayer and a soul crying out for a human touch too…. Also a response from what I believe God wanted me to here. This is not a religious song per-say, but too me it touched me in that way. I bold-ed what I would like to think God said to me in this song. The rest of the words are very much my heart at this moment in time…
thanks for listening!!!
Love Come By: Sarah McLachlan
Love come light up the shadows
Let the beauty of you enter in
For I have hungered for a tender touch
A long and lonely time
I’ve seen much more than I want to
So much anger so much pain
A line is drawn and lives are torn apart
The wounds too hard to hearLove has taken me in
Lifted my load
And in this empty space a wonder grows
A dream of some kind of peace
I could hold up as true
I never knew anything about love before youYou call and I come running
I can sense the flood before it breaks
And I’d do anything to dry your tears
To let you know you’re safeLove has taken me in
Lifted my load
And in this empty space a wonder grows
A dream of some kind of peace
I could hold up as true
I never know anything about love before youLove come light up the shadows !!!!
Let the beauty of you enter in
For I have hungered for a tender touch
A long and lonely time
~I can’t listen to this song with out feeling so much emotion… tears are just the reactions I suppose.
Posted in Music is the heartbeat of my healing soul
Tagged emotions, Healing, music, Sarah McLachlan, voice
i have 13 open pages with 13 different posts started. At times I think that words can’t express what the soul is crying out. I have this fear that my world as I know it has stopped spinning and all the chapters have fallen from the sky right at my feet and I know… I know it all. …and I’m scared.
Here I stand in this empty field (literally) all i keep praying for is to feel a touch… a loving touch… a safe touch. I scream inside the same pleas. -If only a mother to hold me as I fall to my knees. a voice whispering wisdom as I exhale this heavy realness of pain.
Emotions here i sit in. and long for a peace that passes all understanding. and as I pray and grieve… and the peace does not come i feel unworthy and dirty and wonder why no one comes. wonder what it is in this moment that i am doing so wrong.
I feel as if my seemingly best-est of friends walk by this wounded girl and walk quickly by… the ones who see me hurting it’s just not in their time to understand… ugh… and some may try… but i don’t want to fake life… i need someone to hold me in this strife…. because it’s all coming together and it hurts… oh… how it hurts… i know we all have busy lives… but someone…
ahhhh… i am screaming inside! I clench my teeth in hate and disgust for the pattern of this madness… i feel so alone!
i reject this foolish emotion… and long to be free from this bondage.
have you ever wanted to be held so bad, by someone who will allow you to fall apart, that it hurts so bad that it is murdering your soul and all you can think of is screaming for help.
I just want to write… but all I can do is feel… and what my body is feeling is too much pain from the memories.
help.
Posted in Random Blog Posts
at times when the world seems to be a dream
and all you want to do is wake up and scream
when your faith is tested
and you now hesitate to believe what God has invested
when the darkness seems to surround
I desperately need the light to abound
so much pain
too much has been drained
to understand the me
is to understand how to be free
to know who this girl is now
is to know who the girl was then
to receive the love of God
to know it’s not a facade
it’s not delirious
it’s mysterious
his love is like an avalanche of grace
it has not been misplaced
and as the walls close in around us
the pressure tests us, I must confess
I search to find a peace
an inner strength to increase
in this world we will suffer
and somehow it makes us tougher
when earth is no more
and it’s time to soar
I pray that I have been faithful
despite the world and it’s dark pull
we are his masterpiece
an artsy of an almighty God
and someday I will know why
the fathers love and why he had to die
it’s not a great philosophy
His love…
we must not guess
the answer is yes
I must profess
He loves us
because He loves us
because He loves us
peace with in the distress
because He loves us
because He loves us
late at night… going through the motions the only way I know how… singing… music… raw…
Because he loves us…
Posted in My art work, Poems by ~L
Tagged childhood, fear, God, Healing, PTSD, Religion and Spirituality, remembering
always frozen;
never moving forward.
These fleeting ‘happy’ moments
are all just an illusion!
…a deceiving game
that tortures me into a hope… a hope that
‘someday’ I won’t be
so stuck in this awful frozen sadness.
~L
I wasn’t searching for a lost masterpiece but when I came across a damaged canvas I realized that this unnoticed hidden piece of art could be what someone once convinced me that something valuable would be found amongst the search. In the midst of the wreckage and hard work of trying to simply live; I knew that a time would come when I opened the door to this forgotten place that I would be flirting with the pain that was going to be revealed of a reality that I thought was better locked and forgotten; better off in a ceremonies of goodbyes and end it with gasoline and a strike of a match.
I never thought too, that I would find something worth repair. As I looked at the potential this painting had… I stood a great distance from where my frozen body stood and where this ‘reason’ lied against a wall crying out with a bit of faith and hope. I heard a familiar voice saying “this is one of those problems that just has to be solved; had to… because the finished project was worth the grueling and timely restoration”.
Posted in Healing one day at a time, My favorite posts
Tagged art work, God, Healing, hope, lost art, music, PTSD, Religion & Spirituality
Thanks for visiting 'Untitled Moments' Where breaking the silence is a learned journey for me. Passion fills many of my posts and pain is spilled throughout ... as splashes of hope and my faith fight its way to the top, someday there they will stay in victory...humbly shinning with purpose and confidence.
One of L’s favorite blogs… check it out :) The Other 167 Hours
