Two forty eight in the morning
My mind is worn-out
My body in alarm
I close my eyes
And listen deep
I sometimes hear my mother singing
Then realized it was never to me
I breathe in
And release
I hang my head in the sorrow
Imagining her loving me
Her hands running through my hair
A gentle touch
A loving kiss
An affirmation of hope
Three twenty one in the morning
My heart grieves
My gut sinks
I wide eyed stair into the wall in front of me
Saddened by dull dreams
The pain begins
The music ends
The loneliness rises
And all I hear are the internal voices
“Nothing matters anymore”
I don’t want to breathe any longer
Or see another sunrise perform
I don’t want to hear the birds chirp
Or feel so alone anymore
I need for someone to love
Three forty nine in the morning
I am done
I have grieved to long
My love for you is gone
There are no more tears
When will it be realized
A daughter always needs her mother
Did you every even try
You left me unprotected
Somehow you left me neglected
It’s sad
We’ve lost it all
The love is gone
I had hoped that perhaps it once was
How naive I was
Four forty four in the morning
You have lost me now
It’s too late to turn back
I’ve run out of wishing
The trust is timed out
You chose it this way
It is Tragic
Your selfishness
Don’t you regret it?
Your love was infected
Your denial a poison
Five twenty seven
You’ve been uninvited
Life is now changed
You say you’re sorry
You have yet to show it
You made your choice
Dismissed me for your habit
Turned away
You couldn’t love me
I feel as if my soul has been tainted
You couldn’t let yourself feel it
I sense my world has been misguided
My heart held on to a dream
I am done
It’s six twenty one in the morning
The sun is here to perform
The birds are here to sing my sorrows away
Alone I still remain
Yet I am here here another day
Stronger then yesterday
Motherless is where you have left me
~L
Related Posts: Mothers Secrets By: ~L
To my mother… (and to a select few who has abandoned me in this tragedy… it’s so hard to leave)
It takes some work, but sometimes we need to parent ourselves to clear out the sad memories we had to live through. This is not a general thought for you in regards to your post, this is something I need to personally do for the sake of my own sanity.
I agree…. I’m a bit stubborn about it lately…. I need someone to support me annd come alongside as I literally am facing an aftermath of a wicked storm… It’s hard not want a mom come mother you…
Hey L, lovely poetry as always. I wanted to stop by and tell you that you forgot that a power greater than yourself is with you, you are/were not alone after all :)
But I so know how being abandoned feels…..
So kind:) thanks for the love:)
painful yet beautiful write. hugggs and healing to you :)
Thanks and thanks to both of you;) thanks for stopping by:). Turning pain into something that I have co tole of…. Healing one post at a time….
So poignant and full of emotion. I can’t imagine the pain that underlies this one. May love be with you.
This is so heart-breaking and touching. I am glad to you are getting stronger. Luckily my mom did change (she got away from my dad which helped) but early on in my childhood I could very much relate and my dad has never changed and I don’t see him anymore
This is so well written but also heartbreaking to read. Your words speak out so amazingly. One of your best I think.