The more you scrub
The more you imbed the darkness in
It just won’t wash away
The pain became numb
Child
Adult
It’s still the same
It just won’t wash away
The pain became numb
You cant wash it away
As hard as you scrub
It just never goes away
Child
Adult
It’s still the same
I can’t wash it all away
It hurts so bad
It hurt so bad
It hurts so bad
It hurt so bad
…as I bury my head in my lap
To fight the tears…
“it hurt so bad”
You cant wash it away
As hard as you scrub
It just never goes away
Child
Adult
It’s still the same
Will it ever go away
Will even I give up on the truth
I can’t run anymore
I tried to forget
They told me this was the only way
to get the evil out of my mind
What is the the only way to get evil out of reality?
It’s only in my mind?
I must be dreaming?
How can I pretend that what I hide so carefully
Is starring back at me in the mirror
It’s not what it seems
It’s not what you think
I must be dreaming
You cant wash it away
As hard as you scrub
It just never goes away
Child
Adult
It’s still the same
Where are you?
Where are you?
How am I suppose to… Sigh…
Facts
(AKA) what some say are lies
No one will believe it
You couldnt prove it then
You can’t prove it now
No one came
No one will come then
And no one will come now
Alone
No one will love you
You were never conceived in love
Everyone will leave you
Stranded
Forgotten
Abandoned
Left behind
Never really belonging
What has ever really changed
New scars on top of old scars
Strategically placed as a reminder
Flesh and soul
It’s burned deep within
To remind me of
All of the rules
Threats are not empty
They were never lies
Today they were not lies
No empty threats
Today I get to be be fake
And pretend today didn’t happen
Lies will be said to hide
As I am the only protector so it seems
Let your will be done?
I don’t understand….
I just don’t understand
Child
Adult
It’s still the same
You can’t wash it all away
It will always be there staring back at you.
** please know that my sorrow is not to mistaken for defeat. For what is torn down will someday be built stronger. I have to believe this as true…. I just have to…
There’s a recovery period, a risk of infection, the possibility of complications
Fight for recovery.
Fight infection.
Fight to avoid complications.
But don’t fight The Surgeon.
-stolen from another blog… I have a feeling it’s ok though….
”My love is over, it’s underneath, it’s inside, it’s in between, in times of confusion and chaos and pain, I’m there in the sorrow under the weight of your shame. I there through the heartache, I’m there in the storm. My love it will keep you, through my power alone. I don’t care where you’ve fallen or where you have been, I’ll never forsake you, my love never ends. It Never Ends.” – God.
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
