If you are reading this from Dverse… I linked the wrong post this is not it:) but you are more then welcome to read it:) here is the right link http://untitledmoments.com/2012/01/31/untitled-i-cant-title-a-moment-if-i-really-dont-know-what-it-is-it-just-is-untitled/
Ugh....
PMS is Depressions worst enemy. I suppose for guys too it would be hard to be depressed and have to deal with a hormonal cranky nagging women once a month :)
But girls… you know that beyond the bloating and frequent stops to the bathroom that are just a wast of time… and once a month you can’t ware white. (well i did that once in rebellion of the curse of periods… and regretful inform you it didn’t go well for me… all that and I was singing at a small coffee shop when the gravity decided to play a funny trick on me as I had my favorite cute white pants on :-/ ) anyway… off that bunny trail (ADD moment) All the bloating and inconvenience of being a girl, can be tiresome, but with all that boldly stated… there is nothing worse than being the girl who suffers from major PMS and being engulfed in depression. Talk about the worst 5 days… emotional, dramatic and out of control.
I didn’t even watch the Super Bowl on Sunday because I was convinced my world as I knew it was coming to an end. Drama, drama, drama :) . …and I love football almost as much as I love my kids;)
I am not going to minimize the pain that I am feeling Depression is very real to me and the emotions I feel are real. Yesterday morning when I awoke after crying my self to sleep and saying many things I did not mean and MAJORLY regret, I was greeted with the curse of our visiting monthly nightmare :) I was not… I repeat NOT smiling then! I out loud told God I was mad at Him. I emotionally stated that this was not funny… this is not a joking mater… My emotions where real! ugh!!! :) oh yes… I then cried for the next 5 hours. So lets just say that the already emotional feelings i had were intensified by 10 from the greatness of PMS.
As I write to you today it’s 11am and I am showered and smiling and ready to face this ugly war and yell at all the lies that the evilness tells me to believe. I am going to do something today and enjoy it! I am going to smile… and laugh… and may cry; yet when the (what I believe are awful…) tears come… I wont think the world is ending.
I have much to face in the next many many months. Many decisions need to be made. I am going to make sure I don’t let my emotions get int he way of my judgement as I make them. I have to realize that depression is a disease and it’s a process to learn how to understand it all.
I am not saying that my posts are going to be full of sunshine. BUT! THEY will be filled with a little more hope… yes and pain… but realizing that beauty comes from pain. (but honest I will be… )
I am off to fight the day… not tomorrow but today.
~L
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Hi ~L,
It’s so good to see you here again with a smile on your face. I think all your readers are smiling with you right now.
This is beautiful and truly inspiring: “to be what God created me to be; a child of the light, not a child of the night… spreading my wings in the flight of a new day and a new dawn… and many more to come.”
I’m looking forward to reading your ongoing insights as you spread your wings. I will continue to pray for your physical and emotional healing as you face each dawn.
Have a fantastic day and I bet you’ll lose your voice cheering on that young girl playing basketball. “You go girl!” :-)
:) !!!!
Very happy you are feeling better. You sound much more upbeat than you did the other day. Good for you. Best wishes for a grand day, Gordon Kuhn
Hurray-she’s back with a smile! And I so sympathise with the PMS issue- I’m VILE! Depression sits on top of depression and it can be very difficult to cope with for a few days. Glad you are back…enjoy the next 3 weeks! take care Cx
I am so happy to hear you alright. Hang in there and just keep taking it one day at a time.
thanks!!!! another ok day…. :)
So glad to hear you are looking up to the best of your ability!! PMS is truly a curse, one of which I wish we could all overcome!!
A curse for sure!!!
What an incredible blog! I’m so glad I found it and have begun to read the snippets of your life and experiences you so graciously share with us. You are in my prayers (if that’s o.k.) and my whole family will be thinking of you as we pray together. I’ve got a lot of reading to do to catch up. You’ve got a lot of interesting posts that threaten to delay my own writing :-)! xoxo Sam
Thank you so much! You are so kind! Prayer is very important to me and the fact that you and your family are praying from someone you don’t know blesses me today! How about I will delay my own writing and read your blog as well:) thank you so much for your sweet comment.
smiles…you know…i always wear white then…and my husband shakes his head…but i get in such a rebellious mood…and….haha… love your thoughts here..and love that you come to a peaceful state of mind and a yes..
Thanks claudia:) ah, the joys of PMS;)
all too real you know…of course i can only relate from the mens side of things…i do like the wisdom in your close…the fighting for today…tomorrow will take care of itself until it gets here…
Just breathe…there are those times when it’s all we can do. Thank you for sharing.