“Unbreakable” by Fireflight
Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight Can’t face me in the light They’ll return butI’ll be stronger
God, I want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it’s unmistakable No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better
Forget the fear it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust
Listen to this ‘rock’n song :) … but don’t say I didn’t warn ya…. it rocks:)
Lord, YOU SAID! Please come through for me tonight!
When everything falls apart by: ~Fee
You said
you’d never leave or forsake me
when you said,
this life is gonna shake me
you said
this world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
this I know
Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you’re the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on
when I see
darkness all around me
when I see
that tragedy has found me
I still believe
your faithful arms will never let me go
and still I know
Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you’re the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on
Bridge: Sorrow will last for the night
but hope is rising with the sun
(it’s rising with the sun)
there will be storms in this life
but I know you will overcome
but I know you will overcome
Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
your the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
Chorus:
when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you’re the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on
Why do you keep holding on to me? I don’t understand at the moment! I don’t want any more moments to understand. My soul is tired and my mind is on overload…. and that’s all I want is for the world to stop reminding me how awful it was to have my innocence stolen and my mind tortured so….
I am not a fighter tonight. I have nothing left to give…
What does it mean to be still? How is it possible to be still when life’s crashing waves keep flooding in?
What does it mean when God’s people are commanded to “be still”? The command is not given to limit the mobility of God’s people. This command represents a spiritual outlook that should be carried out by those who believe in His promises.
The word translated “be still” comes from the Hebrew term raphah. It refers to that which is slack, or to let drop, or in some instances, to be disheartened or weak. Those who are disheartened are said to take courage.
~I found this very interesting in my situation.
Sadly, I think that I am far from “still”; I am trying to “do all the work” and yet I say I am giving it to God… I am not giving him the credit that is due. I often think that by “taking courage,” I can survive and thrive by my own hard work. I can do it all on my own, without any divine dependence.
Here is the irony in this term “be still.” While we must take the initiative to fight and be courageous, the uncertainties of living in a world of sin will continually challenge us. Personal initiative is no replacement for our dependence upon God.
To “be still” forces us to think on two things: That we need to drop our hands, go limp, relax, and “chill out.” And to encourage us to reflect on what God can do in the face of what we are unable to do.
So as your world crumbles around you, the call from Scripture is: don’t draw back in faith in God. Stand still — not because of a self-made confidence, not because you are the most composed person in the face of disaster, not because “you’ve seen it all.” Be still because of what you know about God.
It is “God’s past” that provides calm for “our future.” Know that He is God! Know it, not just intellectually, but sensibly, spiritually, and emotionally. He is your God. He is the ruler of kingdoms of this earth and the all-powerful Creator of the Universe. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth will change” (Psalm 46:1-2).
While I write this I am looking up into a beautiful night sky and the way the moon is shinning into the blackness of the night… I can be still and know that the He is GOD. I can be still in the moments that are now… the moments that are all around me. I let too many of these moments slip by because I’m not being still and knowing his magnificent now moments.
“Breath”… It feels good to breath and know that God has surrounded me with much and that I can take comfort in his beautiful creation. It’s a battle, this journey. My heart is very vulnerable… and it’s okay to be sad. As emotional of a person I am…. my tears for “this” are trapped inside this very young girl who faced a world where she was never allowed to be still. She had to run and hide from who she was… and she forgot how to breath.
27 and still trapped… I’m learning now how to breath… one breath at a time; to let go of the moments of a past and find the courage to speak aloud the memories that are a part of who I am. I need to allow that layer to be present. It’s in this healing that my body remembers the pain, yet it’s also in the healing that my heart will be free to breath more often.
Be still and know that the Lord my God has surrounded me with precious moments of his peace.
I want to know those moments more clearly.
I crave a normal heartbeat.
It’s a long forgotten road… the world moved on… and she stayed forgotten.
till the clock started ticking again,
and the butterfly’s remembered for her…
her daughter brought back what it was like to be small
and the earth came back alive.
breath in… breath out
“Be still and Know that I am God”
It hurts to breath sometimes when there’s such a deep fog. I may be a fighter but I think it’s time I stop fighting and be still and let God fight this one out… I will continue on this long forgotten road…one breath at a time.
This will be short and to the point:) Which I’m sure will be appreciated after my ridiculously long previous post that got me in way over my head; great learning experience however:)
Basically all I want to say is life would sure be dull without it:) A.D.H.D has it’s downs for sure… but I don’t think it would be as fun without it:) … just saying:)
I will write more on this later, trust me:) I’m not focused enough right now;)
I recently read an article on Yahoo news about President Obama and how he is handling this Muslim temple near Ground Zero, as well as reading many comments from my fellow Americans voicing their freedom of speech. Well, this is me voicing mine.
(If you have not read any articles regarding this topic or others comments read this link below.)
Our country was founded on GOD. “In God we trust”, right? The God that gives us freedom to choose to serve him or not, is same God that our founding fathers believed in. They decided if God did not force us to serve him, then why would they force religion on us. Yet they also decided as an American government to be ONE Nation UNDER GOD! You could choose your path, but they were going to choose the path that they knew in their hearts was best for the people. That was America from day one. People came to America knowing that. If you did not want to believe in God, you didn’t have to… but please respect our Nation and what it was founded on… if you don’t like it, move! Okay, well maybe that is a little harsh? If you don’t like it you don’t have to; that’s your blessed, God given, American provided right. We are not forcing anyone to be a certain religion… some of us choose to share a love that we would desire you to know but never force anyone to be a Christian. When a Nation was founded on God we decided, that that is who we are. Our God, the God that blessed our nation, never forced us to love Him, He never brainwashed us to live a certain way… He gave us the choice to receive His love. That is where our founding fathers formulated the idea of “freedom of choice, freedom of religion”. No one was going to force “we the people” to bow down to the God that they decided to build our Nation upon, rather they believed it was the right way of thinking to let us decide; As, so did Christ.
My heart cries out only in love not condemnation, would you not want to know this God who loves you so much that He gives you a choice; he demonstrated that choice by choosing death, so that we may have life eternally by his resurrecting power. Would you not love a country that gives you a choice… would you not respect our Founding Fathers that loved their GOD and COUNTRY so much they gave us that freedom. I personally believe we as Christians are called to voice that and share the love of God to ALL mankind.
This is a sad day to me when I read how the leader of our country, which was founded under GOD, seems to be very heartless. The world is broken… let us love with a hope and faith from the one who blessed this country in the first place! ONE NATION UNDER GOD! IN GOD WE TRUST! LET FREEDOM RING! Let us love all mankind, no mater what they believe. We are to love not hate. It’s sad to know that so many people have to be reminded of the pain on 9-11, it saddens me more to know that our president can’t stand up for the brokenhearted, but would rather make all fair?
Build your temple… just build it somewhere else. Have respect; can you not have love for those who lost their loved ones? This will be a constant reminder of what America lost that day. We are not hating you, nor condemning you. We are just asking that you love the brokenhearted people and extend support, sympathy, and love to those who lost a piece of them that day.
It is my prayer today that you will understand that you have a choice to receive HIS love, understand why our founding fathers chose this God to stand our country on. Find out yourself. Look for the truth. Truly dig deep in the history of why. And remember it’s always been your choice. And every choice has a consequence. My question to you is, can you live with the choice you make? Can I live with myself not shouting His Name from the mountain tops? If you are my Christian friend, will you rise up with me and pray for the brokenhearted, the weary, the lost… let us pray for unity in the land of the free. And If you don’t believe in Jesus, I just want you to know that someday I hope you find His amazing love. I don’t need you to judge me, and if you do it’s okay with me. We have the same right, to believe the way we want; yet I also have a responsibility to the God that I believe; and that’s to share his amazing love to all mankind; to ware His love on my sleeve.
Can I truly live my life knowing that our world is becoming filled with more broken people and not share the true freedom that lies within receiving Jesus as Lord, a reigning king over all the earth. It’s a crazy kinda love :) It’s a great love.
The Beatles state it well, “And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will bean answer, let it be. Jesus said it better, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 …And what is the world? What does the news tell us? What do we see daily; the world is broken… and he tells us to take heart! He has overcome the brokenness”
Can we be the home of the brave? Can we go back to our roots as Americans? What made the U.S.A. anyway? Obviously this will be debated to the ends of the earth but that’s just it… what then… what happens in the end? Will we have said just “let it be” …”let’s all be fair”? Will we look back and see it was easier to agree to disagree? In the end does it even matter?
From the very depths of my heart I am here to tell you that it really does matter. The world will someday end and like I stated before; Are you sure you can live with the consequences of how you now chose to life your life here on earth?
Our true freedom is in a world far greater than science could ever imagine. A world where unity is never tempted by the desires of what man wants but rather with a unity that is beautifully made by a loving God, who calls us His children. A world where war and death will never be. A world where freedom means what it should mean now. Free from condemnation, free from death, free from fear…. Free from abuse and broken homes. Free from depression and oppression. There will be no hunger, no sorrow… no mass destruction or evil men that seek to destroy. We will be unified under an almighty ruler who also calls us His friend. It won’t matter what our selfish desires want anymore… we will be surrounded by the utter most beauty of heaven and all His glory. I wonder what that day will be like?
Someday the world will know what “the land of the free” really means… until that day let us fight for the brokenhearted, let us fight for our fading freedom that so much blood was shed for. Let us remember that freedom came with a cost. Let us not be greedy and think about all the unnecessary selfishness. Let us love. If we were loving in this situation then we would understand the hearts of the hurting and we would never have to have this conversation. Let us remember the love for our country, the love for it’s people, and the love for a penned promise long ago… “One Nation Under God”
~L
I hope you take a few minutes and enjoy these songs that I linked to this post:)
The world is full of broken people. The world is full of sadness. My question to myself is why do I care so much about the broken world. Why am I so passionate to make a difference in the lives of broken people, when I myself am so very broken? So… I understand this concept of putting the oxygen mask on myself first before I can help the person next to me. And I’m doing that. … so I suppose the reason for writing this post is to 1.) To remind myself why I am the way I am… (passionate) and 2) To let all you who are readers know my heart.
So are you ready for my heart to overflow in A.D.D. style? … cause that’s what it’s going to be…
I think I tend reach out to brokenness; I want to help those who hurt… it’s so hard to see broken souls, sad eyes, smile-less faces. I understand that my passions aren’t going to make me rich. I know at times it tires me out. Yet, how can I not do what God has designed me to do. I love God and I love His people… Is that not what it’s all about? Knowing God and making Him known?
So I tell myself, “L, get a grip! You’re so broken right now and maybe you’re being a little over dramatic… stop wearing your heart on your sleeve… the world is broken and it’s going to stay broken. ” Is it wrong for me to be so passionate… am I not balanced well? Is this not healthy? Well I am not sure on all of that… Yes, I need to make sure I am loving myself and taking care of me first, I am healing from a past that created broken me. So, great… I’m working on that.
So… waiting tables will never make me rich; BUT I get to connect with the lost, be a light, make someone smile, listen to people, care, and respond to brokenness… it’s all around me. And working at church… well that’s never going to buy my dream house or be able to shop like I want to:) BUT How amazing is it to pray at work, to sing at work, to love teens and build relationships with kids who are lost “broken” … I love to love… now trust… that I am very careful about… and for good reasons… but loving is something that I can do.
What about my enemies… can I love them… are they not broken? (sigh) I must admit, Where I’m at in life, this is hard. Forgiveness is an issue in a few areas… but in this weird way… I still want that brokenness to heal for them too… I just don’t want anything to do with it… and again, I think it’s for good reasons.
Whooh… are ya still with me? (I think my Aderoll has kicked in… or it’s wearing off and now you get the best of me:)
… round 2
I refuse to let the abuse define me… take over… cloud my thinking!!! I will not let him win… IF he could only see who I am… that I never lost my love… that my passions are used to glorify Jesus and he can’t stop that burning desire I have to live a life full of hope,faith, and LOVE… just to live. I am crazy in love with my Jesus and NO ONE can take that away from me!
Yes, I may walk throughout the valley of shadow of death… but i will fear no evil for my God is with me. And yes, life can get hard and flat out depressing. BUT, “hold heart my child I have come to rescue the broken” The Beatles state it well, “And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer, let it be.” Jesus stated it better” “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” And what is the world… What does the news tell us… what do we see daily; the world is broken… and he tells us to take heart! He has overcome the brokenness“
If you’re still with me after all that rambling… than what I am trying to say is that I think I know who I am… and that’s a blessing to me tonight because I’ve been searching for a long time now… and it’s good to be me… THE REAL ME.
Let it be? or Be? I am going to BE…
I know that there is healing in HIS name.
That the brokenness is heal-able!
So… when we’re falling apart
barley breathing….
with a broken heart…
there is still meaning in the pain…
there is still healing in HIS name…
there is still meaning… so hold on…. He has come to overcome the world… hang on another day… it will be okay.
The brokenness won’t last forever.
We have not lost our way.
…and I have not forgotten my way home!
All day today my four year old has asked me, “mommy! Take my band-aid off”. And every time I go to take it off she says, “ughh! No No, never mind”. Five minutes will go by and she will say it again, “mommy! Just take it off”; and then again I go to grab the peeling corner that I have worked on for the past 8 hours and she once again changes her little mind in fear of the pain. “It’s going to hurt”, she yells and again she runs away.
It wasn’t in till this last time that I got it. I understood the wonderful metaphor that God was trying to show me all day.
As I walk through this or should I say crawl through this unimaginable journey, I am continually becoming stuck when it comes to putting voice to the painful memories. I think the band-aid represents my sealed lips… It’s just like my princess asking me to rip off that band-aid… she keeps finding the courage to “just do it” and when it comes time to face the fact that it’s going to hurt, that it’s going to be too much… she runs away. That’s exactly what I’m doing. I tell myself today is the day I am going to give voice to the unending madness; I will have more courage than before. But then I fail miserably… AGAIN.
I’m leaving on this band-aid too long… when I just want someone to rip it off and let my wound breathe…. scream out in pain and heal. It’s so hard! Saying “it’s so hard” does not even truly express it. It feels like instead of Triple antibiotic was applied first, super glue was used. I understand what God is trying to tell me. I feel as if I am lacking the faith that I will survive the pain that will follow. Or I lack in believing in His power that I really can own my voice and my body and nothing is going to happen to me. I wonder if God allows these triggers to continue to haunt me so that I will continue to run to Him for guidance. Is this His way of saying the time is now.
Why is it so hard to believe that He is right, that if I “run” this time it won’t get worse; that It will make it out? I understand, it’s just too hard to face. Maybe this week I will rip this band-aid off and let this deep would heal with some fresh air once and for all…
I will sing the pain; give voice to
the sadness of tearing flesh
and unending madness
Child, Scream the rage!
I want what cannot be,
what you could never begin
to give to my lost and wounded soul.
Child, scream the rage!
Tell me that you lied
take it back if you must.
Apologize!
Child, scream the rage!
You cannot know, cannot begin
to feel the anger, pain and fury.
The deepest burning pits of hell
cannot contain the torment I felt.
Child, scream the rage!
I am guilty in the first degree of childhood lost
Sentenced by a Judas-court
the judge Satan himself.
Child, scream the rage!
I totally reject everything that
you ever did inside of me.
Throw it in your face, your
demon eyes that never leave,
your lies, and perverted grace.
Child, scream the rage!
I will sing the pain,
give voice to the madness of murdered hope
and unending sadness.
I will climb one more step out of shame.
Child, scream the rage!
There will be a day when you’re on trial…
Your jury… will be those who have seen the effects that your evil has had on me.
And all will know who you really are.
The judge….
You better tremble because my God hates your god.
You can take back all you did to me
and go live with him in eternal flames!
…OH, and when you are begging for water…
remember that you used it all on me
when you tried downing my joy down the basement drain.
Child, scream the rage!
It’s time to take this band-aid off. I only wish my mommy would’ve never put it on to begin with!
This is my prayer, a song that has been repeated about 50 times this week. The words to this song are so beautiful and powerful… I highlighted my favorite lines. I know that God is working in me. I may not always see the light, it’s hard when you are trapped in a dark moment…. remembering has been harder than I could ever imagine… in fact if I knew it was going to be this hard I would have never started. I feel stuck in the middle of this storm and I’m not sure how God is going to save me from this. I want to to stop but I feel like their is equal distance from the finish line to the start line. (It’s a very scary place to be!) HE sure did rescuer me from the raging sea a few days ago. I thought for sure I was being swallowed whole from the most treacherous waves. When all my hope expired… My God intervened and was HOPE for me.
The Greatness of our God,
-Hillsong
Give me eyes to see
More of who You are
May what I behold, still my anxious heart.
Take what I have known
And break it all apart
For You my God, are greater still.
No sky contains,
No doubt restrains,
All You are,
The greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know,
And I’m far from close
To all You are,
The greatness of our God.
Give me grace to see
Beyond this moment here.
To believe that there
Is nothing left to fear.
That You alone are high above it all.
For You my God, are greater still.
No sky contains,
No doubt restrains,
All You are,
The greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know,
And I’m far from close
To all You are,
The greatness of our God.
And there is nothing
That can ever separate us.
There is nothing that can ever
separate us from Your love.
No life, no death, of this I am convinced.
You my God, are greater still.
And no words can say, or song convey,
all You are the greatness of our God. I spend my life to know,
And I’m far from close
to all You are,
the greatness of our God.
What to do you do when you feel that hope has run it’s course. Did I miss my chance. Is it really gone, am I too late? Right now I feel that hope has died and there is nothing left inside. How do you find the will to keep on this long forgotten road when hope does not shed it’s needed light. I’m breathing, praying… nothing seems to help at the moment. Will this moment fade or will it progress into something I can not handle with out that hope?
I feel like tapping out… doing something reckless…
Buying my favorite Moscato and toasting to the darkness
… the darkness that won’t leave my mind at peace.
… the darkness that is too acquainted with my dying soul.
Oh, Lord I have cried out from the very depths of my soul
Can you not hear me? Why Oh, Lord is this so hard.
Can’t I go back to that place I use to be
the place where I could laugh with him
the place where darkness could not find me
Why would you protect my mind than and not now?
Oh, Lord Please come rescue me from the hopelessness of this battle.
I am surrounded by these memories of evil
his evil voice rings in my heart
She wants to speak out loud, stand up to that monster.
he, the monster, has gripped her voice and placed a lingering curse on speaking out.
Free her, release her from with in.
I don’t want to own those awful moments anymore.
Take what should have never been given
or give back what should have never been taken.
One more sip
One more numbing swallow
Mother, I now see how easy it was for you to hide your secrets the way you did.
Lately I’ve wondered what it would have been like to not have a relationship with God at such a small age. I have thought about if I would even have lived through the dysfunction and torture of it all..without knowing God. Without my childlike faith, that God was real then, I don’t think I would have lived to write this post today. Many miracles have happened in my life that proves that His hand has been in the mix of it all. And someday I will understand.
I argue with myself and wonder if God was there at all or I tell myself, “sure He was” He protected my mind, gave me the beautiful woods around me to run away and be surrounded by all of His greatness… Yet, it’s a a battle back and forth of how could such a loving God let such horror happen to such small children? Was He really there? How could His glory be present in the midst of such darkness… was he really there… I believe He was… and then again my human mind can’t put logic to it. Like I said it’s a constant battle in my mind.
What I do know, is that God is real. I know He is real because I can feel Him. And even when I can’t hear His voice… I know that He is there. A beautiful exchange took place…
“When only love could make a way, when only love could break these chains… he gave his life in a beautiful exchange”!
Despite my fear and sorrow I know that someday I will understand God’s perfect plan for my life. Today is a day full of hope. My heart still aches, my mind still seeks to understand, my soul still yearns to be closer to the presence of a Holy God, and my body starves for the warmth of healing. I wish I could go back and leave my body like I once did when i was a small child… leave behind all the pain and be in that perfect world. Understating will never come easy.
I will be a miracle in this world. I will beat all odds. I will rise above fear and live a life full of Faith, Hope and Love; and the greatest of these, LOVE.
“Holy are you God
Holy is Your name
with everything I have
my heart will sing
how I love you!”
Titling all the untitled moments one post at a time
Thanks for visiting 'Untitled Moments' Where breaking the silence is a learned journey for me. Passion fills many of my posts and pain is spilled throughout ... as splashes of hope and my faith fight its way to the top, someday there they will stay in victory...humbly shinning with purpose and confidence.
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I will be taking a break from my blogging probably until sometime in the fall. I want to be able to put my effort into writing of another sort. Thank you all for reading and commenting. So until that next post I wish you all the best. - dh
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