Monthly Archives: June 2010

Before the Morning

Before the morning comes
I have…
Prayed harder than ever
Fought a dark world
became entangled in the memories of a past long ago
cried
stared at the crack in the door wondering if “he” is really gone
tossed and turned
Prayed some more
wondered what it would be like if I could just utter half of what I dreamt aloud to anyone

Is it possible that someone would really care enough to know or help me understand?
I know it is a “job” of a therapist to help you… but do you ever feel they get sick of it or care only because they “have to” I mean I am sure they want to but… I don’t know…

I have this song for you all to listen too… hope you like it!

~L

Oh how I wish I could read this to him!

I will sing the pain, give voice to
the sadness of tearing flesh
and unending madness
______________
I want what cannot be,
what you could never begin
to give to my lost and wounded soul.
______________
Tell me that you lied
take it back if you must.
Apologize!
_____________
You cannot know, cannot begin
to feel the anger, pain and fury.
The deepest burning pits of hell
cannot contain the torment I felt.
_____________
I am guilty in the first degree of childhood lost
Sentenced by a Judas-court
the judge Satan himself.
_____________
I totally reject everything that
you ever did inside of me.
Throw it in your face, your
demon eyes that never leave,
your lies, and perverted grace.
_____________
I will sing the pain,
give voice to the madness of murdered hope
and unending sadness.
I will climb one more step out of shame.
_____________
There will be a day when you’re on trial…
Your jury… will be those who have seen the effects that your evil had on me.
And all will know who you really are.
The judge….
You better tremble because my God hates your god.
You can take back all you did to me
and go live with him in eternal flames!
…OH, and when you are begging for water…
remember that you used it all on me
when you tried downing my joy down the basement drain.

He loves us he love us he loves us….

So… I am working on not being so hard on myself and this video really hit me! Please watch it is so so so good!