Bipolor and hating every second of it!!!

I am so frustrated right now! I do not own this body I live in… God may own my soul but this vessel it lives in is up for the taken. I feel like their is a battle going inside of me… and “the real me” is stuck in the between. Up and down… my mind is all over the place. My heart at times feels like it’s going to jump right out of my chest. I can’t focus… even with my ADD meds and stupid Bipolar meds… Why won’t anything work… I need to practice this “grounding” or this mindfullness thing. I just got off the phone with a doctor who was flabergasted of the fact that I have been feeling this way for so long with professionals helping me. I feel stupid because I was balling on the phone with a complete stranger:( I just want the inside of me to feel better!!!!!! I don’t know what to do? Will someone tell me what to do?

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7 responses to “Bipolor and hating every second of it!!!

  1. sometimes tears rinse away pain. its good to cry whenever you feel like crying. sooner or later they will stop.

    dont be frustrated, just open your heart to those who are trying to help you. there is nothing embarassing in it. thats the quickest way to cure.

    best of luck.

  2. i thought that you are back in blogsphere.

    have a beautiful weekend.
    be back soon.

  3. Try doing salt baths with pure frankincense…. get yourself some sea salt with minerals 12 oz. cost about 4 dollars and mix 1/4 cup into bathwater as hot as you can stand it… next mix 10 drops of pure frankincense in the bath water while tub is filling up… get in the tub and ask all negativity to go to the light and leave you………MOST OF US SUFFERING HAVE NEGATIVE ENERGY STICKING IN SOME WAY TO OUR ENERGY SOME WAY SOME HOW… the only way to get rid of it is pray heart felt prayers even if it means shouting them or singing them…. I sing them and when i feel angry i shout them in Jesus name… try it for a few days and if it works keep doing it … if it gets old and it comes back get an experienced spiritual cleanser through any connections of healthy lifestyle magazines that have positive energy and proclaim God as their guide….

  4. So after some recent research, I have begun to wonder if I have bi polar? I think it stems from childhood trauma. there is quite a bit of new research linking many misdiagnoses, when really it is a form of PTSD. Hummm… o wonder ? That means if I can get past this than I could be symptom free for good!

  5. My psychiatrist just told me she refuses to diagnose me with bipolar, because in there is a spectrum with mood disorders, we range from depression to irritability to being on the brink of mania…with trauma, our symptoms may mimic “bipolar disorder” at times, other times atypical depression, other times general anxiety disorder. PTSD is like a stew ;) Depression, anxiety, moments of elation even…all stem from the effects of trauma.
    I know the frustration of trying different meds and feeling at war with you own mind! My sister has been on at LEAST a dozen medications since experiencing PTSD, and none have really worked. I believe she is on Zonagram now? I personally take Seroquel to sleep, Lamictal for depression, and Vyvanse for ADD. Oh, and I have Valium on hand at all times. Sounds like quite the cocktail huh? But I am stable, sleeping and of course….in therapy once a week. I hope you find something to work for you…I know this is an older post, so by now are you still not taking any medications, or in therapy to deal with your PTSD?
    I look forward to reading more of your posts when I can !

    • HOLY COW… i am so glad i met you!!!! really! I too have heard it all!!! some say NO WAY! NO WAY, are you bipolar… and then some say… YES! It’s all there you are. I don’t care if I am or not!!!! I just need it fixed … like yesterday. I just went back on lamictial… but I was told that does NOT help depression… many people with bi polar go on that. I am very ADD too… and don’t know what i should be taking for that… but because i am so so tired all the time they put me on provigial… i would love to sleep…. and anxiety is getting bad… but i wonder if it is worse because of provigial????? Valium sounds like heaven right now! I wish someone would just once and for all figure me out because I can’t go on much longer like this! I need a miracle!

To all that let me know your thoughts... I appreciate each one. Thank you for reading all my Untitledmoments. ~L

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