Monthly Archives: April 2010

I need to remember how God has lifted me out of the depths of darkness. I also need to remember that God has my soul in his hands and even thought my mind may be exposed for the darkness to creep in and try to destroy my present… he has saved me from the reality of what was… so I know my God can save me from the memories of once was and no longer lives. I am safe in His promises.

It’s hard to explain what I feel when the memories come flooding into my mind. I need to know that if God can save me from the grasp of an evil man then He can save me from the memories that no longer can harm me. I need some energy to fight. I have none…. I use it all during the night fighting the darkness away.

It has been a roller coaster of a ride for the past 4 weeks… not knowing what to do. Knowing that Bipolar is a for sure thing now seems sad, yet I’m relieved to know… now maybe I can get on the right meds and figure it all out… No one ever knows really what to do with me… what help is best and how to approach it… I wish someone would fight for me… how am I suppose to win this when I am so week? I need an advocate…. and why is it that I want to rely on an earthly help? Why can’t I just be content that God can be my advocate? Oh, boy???? I have too much going on in my brain and think I just need to slow down… a nap sounds good and I have only been up a few hours:(